Change Happens

Sorry I haven't kept my promise to post every day. Things have been hectic around here. :)
This past year, I've experienced more change than I have in my whole life. I guess you could actually say it started almost 3 years ago when I moved from my home of 7 years to this house way the heck out in the boonies. Even though it didn't seem like it at the time, that was a good change. Probably the 2nd best thing thats ever happened to me.
Anyway, back to this year. 
The first big change was on January 17th. My dear friend passed away, and I think everyone is changed from that. For me, death became less of a far off thing, and more of a reality. For the first time in my life, I was experiencing real loss. Even though I had seemed at peace, pain built up in my heart, creating a black hole of anger. I wouldn't admit it, but I was angry with God. I often asked things like, "God, how could you take my friend from me? Don't you love me? And how could it have been Amy?" 
The next big change was when my sister, Clara made the decision to move away for college. She's now living in Hagerstown and going to the community college there. Not having her here has been so... strange. Since she left, there are new responsibilities. And I'm bonding with my little siblings in bigger ways than when she was here. I have so taken them for granted. My brother Josh is turning 13 next month. He's already taller than me, and lately we've been pretty buddy-buddy. Which is cool. :) My little sister Hannah is 11, and Jonathan is 9. They look up to me now. Which is totally weird, but it means that I have to change the way I act in so many ways. 
The biggest change of all came last week at Worthy11(see post Worthy '11(After-Testimony time!)).
Now my whole life is different! I've been seeing so many things in my life that I needed to change. Especially my attitude. Towards everyone. Before Worthy, everything was about me when I was with my friends, and everything was about my friends when I was with my family. I'll admit that my friends are kind of my favorite part of my life besides my friendship with God and Family, but before, I often placed them over my family and even over God. That has been a huge change. 
I find that God can be the ultimate friend. I often find myself talking to him, like all the time. I feel more at peace and ready to face new challenges now. Even though my biggest worries are still about my future, I know that it's all in God's hands.
My prayers this past week have been 
1. That I would trust God with everything, 
2. That I would live for God with all that I am, 
3. That would God set me on fire for him, and 
4. That others would see and believe. 



Hope is here, shout the news to everyone.
It's a new day, peace has come, Jesus saves.
Mercy triumphs at the cross,
Love is come to rescue us, Jesus saves.


Hope is here, what a joyful noise we'll make
As we join with heaven's song,
To let all the world know that Jesus saves!


Free at last, every debt has been repaid,
Broken hearts can be remade, Jesus saves.
Sing above the storms of life, sing through the darkest night,
Jesus saves.


Free at last, what a joyful noise we'll make,
As we join with heaven's song,
To let all the world know that Jesus saves.
Raise a shout to let all the world know that Jesus saves.
We'll sing it out to let all the world know That Jesus saves!


You save, you heal, restore, reveal
Your Father's heart to us.
You rose to raise us from the grave,
Your spirit lives in us!


To let all the world know that Jesus saves.
Raise a shout 
To let all the world know that Jesus saves.
We'll sing it out 
To let all the world know That Jesus saves!

Pictures From Worthy

This is me and Trip Lee in case anyone was wondering

A hummingbird flew into a spider web

The aftereffects of Paint Wars

This was actually a funny story. We had hamburgers on the last night, and I put the pickles on first, and I was like "ITS AN OWL!" so I used ketchup and finished making it an owl. :)

Worthy '11(After-Testimony time!)

I Am Home.
Before I left for the retreat, I had the feeling that this was going to be the best 4 days of my life! 
Yes, parts were hard. Yes, I had to change my life a lot, but if I had to do it again, I wouldn't change one thing! 
I went into the retreat like I always do. With the mindset of YES! I get to spend 4 whole days with my friends! 
Little did I know that God had much bigger and better plans for me. 
Every moment of my life was leading up to this retreat! For the longest time, I thought all was well with God. I worshiped him in Church, I raised my hands, I prayed sometimes, and occasionally I would pick up my bible. But my heart was never in it. My whole life revolved around my friends, and I wasn't following God with the way I was living. I hid things from my parents, I sinned constantly in my mind, and towards my siblings, and I was often angry with how my life turned out. Angry with God.
And I was completely blind to it.
Day One of Worthy was wonderful! I met new people, I saw my friends, and I worshiped at the main session. I thought that everything was going great! 
Day two was also great. Even though I was sick and had to sit out of the games and things, I kept thinking just so long as I can spend time with my friends, everything will be fine. 
The next day, everything changed. At the morning session, during worship, I had a word from God that I was supposed to go talk to the guy that I like, to let him know how I feel.
That terrified me! I was so afraid that it was going to just blow up in my face, and that I would lose a valuable friendship. But after much thought and prayer I decided to go ahead and listen. Of course, at that moment a spiritual Rube Goldberg started in my heart. One thing lead to another thing, and another, and another, but I had no idea what it was leading to. 
Later that day I went and talked to the guy, and at the time, I thought that everything was fine! I felt at peace and I could even focus better at the next morning's session.
Day four was...well awkward. What had happened nagged at me all day, and it was all I could think about.
That night was ministry night. Ministry night is the night that we as a youth ministry spend an entire session praying and worshiping. I went into it like nothing was wrong. As people started to pray, I found that I couldn't focus at all. EVERYTHING was wrong. I felt like I was in a pit. One that I couldn't get out of, and whatever I tried to do to fix it just made things worse. I started to pray for my situation. Once I started, I couldn't stop. Hopelessness was welling up inside of me, and I felt like I was never going to get out of this. The whole time, I cried, prayed, cried, prayed, and cried and cried some more. I felt completely alone sitting in the crowd of people praying, receiving spiritual gifts, and giving their lives to God. 
At the bottom of that pit, I felt completely weighed down. All of my sin had followed me down into the darkness. All of it. Everything that I had kept to myself and everything I didn't repent for was there with me along with the burden of my awkward situation, down in the hole that had become my life. 
Everything was clear to me now. There was NOTHING that I could to to pull myself up.
As I sat and cried, a few girls came and sat with me. They put their arms around me and let me cry. I cried through most of the worship. The girls who were sitting with me started to pray. When they asked what was wrong, all I could say was 
"I just need God!"
They prayed with me and I repented of my sins to God. The hopelessness melted away. It felt as though God had not only pulled me out of the pit, but he had also brushed me off and was holding me in his arms while I confessed everything. 
I felt completely free! The weight was lifted off of my shoulders. EVERYTHING had changed! The first thing I did afterwards was go to that guy and apologize. The feelings are still there, but now I know that God can take me through anything! That with God's help, everything can change, and I can be at peace with my emotions. The theme of the retreat this year was God Changes Everything, and now it all makes sense!! God DID change everything! 
I still have sin in my life, there will always be sin, but GOD has saved me! GOD has forgiven me! 
I AM FREE!
"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. 

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ 

-by grace you have been saved- 

and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

Ephesians 2:1-10

Worthy '11(Before)

Worthy is the 10:31 (my Church's Youth Ministry) Ministry's annual summer retreat where we get away from our normal surroundings (to a retreat center on the Chesapeake Bay) to hear from God’s Word, worship, and enjoy fellowship together. :) 

AND ITS IN 2 DAYS!

This year is my Junior year, which means that this is my 2nd to last youth retreat. I'm planning on making the most of it. :)

The theme this year is Jesus Changes Everything. I'm so looking forward to hearing even more about this topic. 

Besides all of the amazing worship, hearing from God's word, and the fellowship, there are some amazing activities for free time. A giant swing, zip lines, rope courses, rock walls, and a number of other things. 

I'm pretty ecstatic!! There will be so much to do, so many people to see, and so many wonderful things to learn!

I have so many memories from previous retreats! Praying, laughing, singing, having quiet times that were actually quiet, witnessing one of the most incredible storms i've ever seen, playing in the rain, eating lots of junk food, drinking blue juice that we decided to call mermaid pee, having boys steal all my food, meeting new friends, consuming obscene amounts of gummy worms, raspberry chocolate, collecting tiny seashells, being "adopted" by a group of senior girls(in my freshman year), having random dance parties, taking hundreds of pictures, walks by the bay during free time, and my all-time favorite memories are when Amy Calderone prayed for me both during my first retreat, and last year's retreat. 

And this year, instead of being a newbie I get to go around with my favorite Freshie, Hayley. :) 

I have a feeling that this will be the greatest Youth Retreat yet!!

I'll take tons of pictures and do an After Worthy post. :D

This also means I won't be here to post for the next 6 days or so, so...yeah :)

BE BACK MONDAY! :D

Love muchly,

Bekah

What Have We Become?

Sometimes I can not forgive,
And these days mercy cuts so deep.
If the world was how it should be,
Maybe I could get some sleep.
While I lay, I'd dream we're better,
Scales were gone and faces lighter.
When we wake we hate our brother,
We still move to hurt each other.
Sometimes I can close my eyes,
And all the fear the keeps me silent
Falls below my heavy breathing,
What makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder,
We all feel the need for wonder.
We still want to be reminded
That the pain is worth the thunder.
Sometimes when I lose my grip,
I wonder what to make of heaven.
All the times I thought to reach up,
All the times I had to give.
Babies underneath their beds,
Hospitals that cannot treat
All the wounds that money causes,
All the comforts of cathedrals.
All the cries of thirsty children,
This is our inheritance.
All the rage of watching mothers,
This is our greatest offense...♪♫

I Really Hate Insomnia...

So its 3:30AM on the 4th of August. I've been awake since 2:15.

For once I had very little trouble getting to sleep, but then for some reason I woke up, and now I can't get BACK to sleep, so I've had a little snack and I'm gonna go read for a bit before trying again. :p 

While I was awake, I figured I should do a blog post to kill some time. :)

So here goes nothing.

This next month or so, until the end of September, are super busy!

Last night my relatives from Indiana got here and we went to go hang with them at my uncle and aunt's house. 

This morning, we're all loading into our vans and heading to the Dulles Air & Space museum.

Friday, we're all loading into vans again and heading out to Easton to rendezvous with my grandparents.

Saturday and Sunday we're spending time with my grandparents.

Monday we're all heading out to Rehoboth beach for the day.

Tuesday will be an off day. We'll just be at home, and that night my fam is probably going to see Pirates 4 at the $3 theater in Frederick.

Wednesday everyone will be coming over to our house, and they'll spend the night here.

Thursday the relatives are going home.

5-Day break.(Packing for Worthy)

Worthy11 from the 18th-22nd. :D

Saturday the 27th, I'm inviting a bunch of girls over to help me pack up my room, which is part of  17 days of packing for the move.

10th-17th we're going on Vacation to Virginia Beach.

Then school starts, and more packing like crazy.

Then sometime near the end of September, we're moving. 

Yes, it's safe to say that I'll be pretty busy. :)

And now I will go back to my bed to see if I can get to sleep. I may just lay there and stare at the ceiling for a while.

Then again, I might actually sleep. :) 

And so, I bid you all Good Night. 

10 Myths About Introverts

So not to long ago, Owl City wrote this on his blog. I pretty much wanted to stand up and shout "YES! I AM AN INTROVERT!" when I read it. Every single one of those 10 points describes me EXACTLY! Its pretty incredible:

"Here are a few common misconceptions about Introverts:

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.

This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.

Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.

Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.

On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.

Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.

Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.

Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.

Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.

Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.

A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

It can be terribly destructive for an Introvert to deny themselves in order to get along in an Extrovert-Dominant World. Like other minorities, Introverts can end up hating themselves and others because of the differences. If you think you are an Introvert, I recommend you research the topic and seek out other Introverts to compare notes. The burden is not entirely on Introverts to try and become “normal.” Extroverts need to recognize and respect us, and we also need to respect ourselves."

How To Tell An Octopus from a Dolphin(Adam Young)

The porpoise may well be our only hope. The octopus, by contrast, may well be our greatest enemy.

It is critical to distinguish between these two — one savior, the other archnemesis; one shining day, the other blackest night; one yang, the other yin, except in this case there’s no yang in the yin and no yin in the yang. But anyways.

It’s a well-known fact that an octopus can camouflage itself so that it looks like rocks or other underwater features of submarine landscape. The secret behind their color capability is a special skin cell called a chromatophore. Each chromatophore consists of three bags of pigment and by squeezing or expanding these bags, octopuses can change the color displayed by each cell, allowing millions of subtle combinations. Sneaky little menaces.

So if you thought they are always the same color then you obviously don’t know the first thing about octopuses.

What Can We Do?

01. Spread the word.

02. Put up signs in your neighborhood explaining what’s wrong and how we’ve been misled by our own government (it’s not unpatriotic to criticize the government — what’s unpatriotic is not to care). Here are some slogans you can use for signs:

“The octopus is upon us!”

“If you were an octopus, where would you hide? In the den of Satan!”

“If squishy, squishable bodies are any indication of goodness, then octopuses must be saints! But in fact it’s the opposite—they’re the devil!”

“Don’t leave your baby with an octopus.” (because it might eat the baby)

03. Be on the lookout for an octopus coming to get you — and if it comes to get you, give it “a little grief.”

04. Write to your member of Congress about the be-tentacled menace… but don’t give away the game by showing that you know the real, honest truth. They’re all in on it.

05. Arm yourself with sea-salt, often called “Octopus’s-Bane.”

06. Use Common Sense. I call this the “N.T.O. rule”: Never Trust an Octopus, like with your valuables, purse, etc. It is liable to eat ANYTHING, up to and including a HUMAN BEING.

I think it’s obvious by now that the Octopus Question has no solution, only more questions. But it’s still the case that octopuses are at least as bad as terrorists in most U.S. cities, and in many, twice as bad. (Twice as many limbs to use for evil purposes, for example.) But somehow, even though the information is right in front of them, most of our countrymen prefer to snuggle with their wife and kids and ignore the threat that looms before and above them as though it wasn’t there at all. Classic.

Ignorance may be bliss, but it is also a grave problem — because knowledge is power, and with power comes responsibility. Responsibility to act. Responsibility to fight: to fight, with courage and valor. Responsibility to fellow man. An octopus has eight tentacles, and knows how to use them. So, too, must we know how to use the tools that God has given us: our friendships and relationships; our brains and skills; our ability to create technologies that will stand the test of time. This fight will not be easy, nor will it be waged on the cheap. But it must be fought, and, indeed, won. The Octopus is not the Hydra: cut off its head, and two more will not appear. It is merely a question of whether we can marshal our resources and act with sufficient speed. It’s true, we are down — but not out.



(Quoted from owlcityblog.com)